Karney Lake

So beautiful just floating on her board

 

We made it to the top of the .6-mile ditch hike where we were able to relax at the picnic table. I love this sun dress on Melissa. The whole way up, I could not keep my hands off her. I don’t view Melissa as an object of lust. Me being hasndsy with her just shows her I am attracted to her, she’s desirable, she’s beautiful and she is wanted. She wasn’t wearing a bra either cuz she wanted to be comfortable 

Day 1. Melissa and I drove for 6 hours to Karney Lake. I picked her up at 10:00 where her mom and dad were. Melissa’s mom was shocked to see how big the truck was and Lyn told me the cabin has been in his family since 1950. He told me about a picture of him when they were building the cabin and he was a toddler looking over the foundation wall. Melissa and I stopped at Albertson’s to get all the groceries for the weekend. We had turkey sandwich with chips and Pinot noir. Afterwards, we sat outside by the lake on the swing bench and sat for a while just chatting. The cabin is set so beautifully right above the lake. There was one moment I wish I could have had my camera. We went out to the lake. I got onto the floating wood raft while she was standing on the edge of the platform pier. The sun was beginning to set just a little so the lighting was perfect. Melissa was dressed in her cute short jean shorts that she had gotten from Plato’s Closet which defined her perfectly shaped ass and legs that are to die for and any woman is jealous of, a ruggedly worn Big Sur t-shirt that just accentuated her amazing physique while wearing no bra and her hair just slightly messy pulled back in a hair band with the shadows of the nearby pine trees reflecting on the water. My heart sunk at just how naturally beautiful she was as she stood there overlooking the lake. Because of her perfection and the pure love I have for this girl who has filled my heart with overwhelming happiness it wasn’t too long before we were making love. When Melissa is not drunk, she can orgasm pretty fast. I love pleasing her. I always want her to orgasm first. It’s not often she orgasms first, but this time she told me it was her time to go first because I told her before that she needs to be the one who orgasms first. She typically likes me to go first after her full body massage which doesn’t always stay “professional”

Day 2. We woke up and had cereal and parfait. We spent the morning sleeping in and then went out to the lake. We strolled around on the paddleboards and I was able to swim a lap. It’s crazy how sick I get from open water swimming. My head was already pounding from only 1 lap. The activity for the day was to to go floating down the Boise River. This was amazing. The trip is a couple hours long along the River. The day was perfect for water with good temps and few to none clouds. Melissa was cute in her 1-piece blue floral swimsuit with shoulder ruffles and showed off her perfect womanly shape. She calls herself a rectangle shape girl. Whatever shape she claims, it’s perfect. We went down the River on her tandem paddleboard which made us seem to go faster than anyone else. We enjoyed people watching , all the Labor Day party crowds that seemed to be mostly from the Boise State university crowd with country songs blaring and people just enjoying the River. So many people out there on a perfect end of summer day. We loved the trip down with a few small rapids and a couple small water cliffs that propelled us a little. Melissa did open up to me while floating how much of a fighter she is and that she is tired of fighting and needs someone to give her a chance and be able to get in the door somewhere so she can have hope. It’s easy to get mad at God cuz if feels as if God is closing doors on her because of this depression. It’s not fair after all the good she’s done in her life of raising her kids and this is how she is rewarded. It is so painful to see her hurting. At the end of the day just before dusk, Melissa shared with me her walk up to the ditch. She tells me the cabin is her sacred place, her temple and the one home that was a constant among all the moving she did from house to house. We walked along the metal ditch that was fed from a stream up top about .6 miles up that ended at a picnic table. It was so beautiful 

Day 3 (Sunday). I got up before Melissa to make her breakfast with French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. She wanted to wake up to the smells of breakfast. She’s so cute. It’s a little thing that she wanted to enjoy. We went for 4.2-mile run together. She wore this purple workout outfit that was purple capri tights with a purple tank top with her black cap and camelbak. Upon starting, we ran by a couple neighbors who were exiting the Karney Lake area, and upon seeing us run by, one of the men said “oh wow, look at these athletes”. Melissa is stunning! One thing about Melissa is she likes thrillers and unsolved mysteries and themes like that. She says it stems from her childhood where her dad’s mom was a widow that worked as a mortician. She even remembers spending one Christmas sleeping in the funeral home. She liked asking her grandma to see dead bodies. She loved going to her grandma’s house which was a 2-bedroom apartment above a mortuary in Boise. We went to the Idaho Penitentiary and toured that. It’s fun to see those stories of the highlighted criminals. Melissa was wearing her skin tight longer jean shorts that went down to her knees and accented her girlish figure with a blue lightly loose girly shirt. She is so pretty. Every time I am with her, I am just overcome with a mesmerization of her beauty. She wears these big sunglasses too which are cute on her. Rather, she makes everything look cute

Moab

 

Life lately 8/9

 I came to Eden yesterday with Melissa. We went snowboarding over at the Causey reservoir. I never heard of that place. Melissa came before with Asher and Tatiana. When we first started out on the water, the wind was pretty strong. But, it soon subdued and was an awesome experience out on the water together. So many other people were out there on their paddleboards. Such a pretty reservoir up secluded. I was able to cliff jump from a spot where I had to climb up to and ended up about 25-30’ high. Melissa stayed on the board while I climbed up and jumped. That was so fun! 

Melissa and I have been having fun going on our weekend getaways. Last weekend we went to Jordanelle and stayed at the BlackRock hotel. This time we got a condo on vrbo for the night. We’re spoiling ourselves for sure. 

While up in Eden and Snowbasin, we went over to Ogden for dinner to The Goat pub and kitchen for dinner. Melissa rarely gets her favorite meal which is a delicious hamburger. Usually I’ll take a bite of her meal to try it out, but I knew she wanted her burger with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mustard and ketchup, no onions though. She enjoyed every bite.

After dinner, we went back to the condo where we had a super fun and passionate time together. Melissa is the hottest and most beautiful, sexy, mesmerizing and captivating woman. I am so engulfed and encompassed in thinking of her and only her. It feels I’m addicted to her while recognizing that’s not a good term to use. But, the reality is that she fulfills every ounce of me and any desire I have. I get so worked up thinking of her. All I want, she is and has. Yes, she is outwardly beautiful. But, she is 1000 times more beautiful on the inside. She got my attention with her radiating exterior beauty and she has captivated my heart with her inner radiance and how she makes me feel. I am so at peace with her and love her with all my heart and soul. I feel at home with Melissa! She is the only girl I want. She satisfies all of me

Park City weekend getaway

 I had the privilege of spending this past weekend in Park city with Melissa. I first picked her up on Friday at about 4 o’clock. When I showed up, I was semi distracted thinking about my dad. I missed a golden opportunity to complement her and how beautiful she was. Typically, I would naturally compliment her every time I see her because she just radiates beauty and I’m in constant awe of how just beautiful she is. She has the wow factor that just takes my breath away. She had bought herself a beautiful navy blue dress that just accentuates her incredible physique. And the way she wears her hair just gets me excited every time I see her. She had her hair done in a side braid that just accentuates her beautiful, shiny and radiating hair. Well, when I first saw her, I was distracted and not paying attention to her like I normally do. Melissa was looking forward to a natural and affectionate compliment of just how beautiful she is and I missed a golden opportunity. I was helping her with her things and not paying attention to what matters most. She is the most beautiful and stunning person. I spent the next minute trying to make up with compliments, but the genuine initial moment where a natural compliment should’ve been given, was already passed. And although the compliments were appreciated, it just wasn’t the same. I love this Creswell girl with all my heart. We went to a nice sushi restaurant on Friday night. Saturday, we got up and had breakfast and headed over to the zip line. After the zip line, we went over to the Jamestown to spend a couple hours with Dad and Mom. It was good for Melissa to be able to talk with my mom for a little bit. That was the first time they’ve been able to spend some time talking with each other. Later, we went to a nice Italian Restaurant called Ghidotti’s. I love going to dinner with Melissa because she opens up so much to me and tells me her life stories and what she wants to do with her life. I love being a part of her life and I hope I get to be her lifetime partner. She is a huge blessing in my life and I hope to be for her.

May 30th - Mercedes’ birthday

 

Utah Valley Half

On Saturday, we did the Utah Valley half marathon and 10k races. Melissa did the 10 K in about 15 minutes while I did the half marathon in one hour and 34 minutes. I did have a three minute potty break at mile 12. I got fourth place for my age group, but I could’ve been on the podium. Afterwards, my heart was full for Melissa because I was just grateful that she takes pride in self improving to be healthy. It’s part of her habits and character. She loves fitness and is very self motivated. I love that about her. She truly is my inspiration after all that she’s been through.It has been a few years for her to have and the race due to her health I love being out there with her and her son, Asher. Wow, Melissa is so pretty! hopefully, this will be the first race of many to come together. Jake and Seth were supposed to do this race. They were signed up for it, but had to cancel due to the internship that Jake got accepted for the summer. I think Mercedes may have done the 1K kids race
 

Melissa’s journey

Melissa has persistent depression disorder. The thought that was coming to my mind tonight is that Melissa herself recognizes small little victories and positive situations but because of the sickness itself the ability to recognize is suppressed. In other words, the sickness suppresses the recognition of positive outcomes for a better and brighter future. It’s hard for her to find pleasure in any activity due to the constant pain and fatigue. The constant pain dulls the senses and as a result, she is constantly fatigued and has low energy. Also due to the sickness also comes the unwarranted emotions and feelings of worthlessness and feeling ashamed of what she’s enduring and not being able to be there for her children through no fault of her own. She’s scared which hurts. I recall seeing her shaking at dinner last night at Cubby’s. I can see her foot twitching and her playing with her hair to try and calm the nerves.  My heart is just breaking from the pain she so needlessly needs to endure. I know it’s easy for me to say that she is so strong because of how much she has had to endure. And that her mental, intellectual and spiritual muscles are growing. But at what time can it just be enough and be given peace. I just wish I could give her something to give her a sense of hope. Something to look forward to. The ability to have financial security so she can go go find other activities that bring more joy and a sense of victory for herself. I want her to know that she would never have to be alone and that someone is by her side supporting her. Is what I have to offer her which is all of me, my heart and soul going to be enough to help her climb out of this low valley and abyss. This is her personal Gethsemane. At what point will the victory of restoration be bestowed upon my sweetheart!!?? 

Today is Sunday, the 27th. I just got back from a morning run. Melissa has been on my mind and in my heart all morning. I ran down to Olympic Park and as I gazed across the park and just taking in the calm and serene scene of the early morning sunrise, I just reflected on my sweet Melissa. Her rising from this low valley she found herself in will have a glorious triumph when she rises from the pain and weight of depression. Or, the other thought was to find the joy and meaning in the moment even when it’s not an ideal moment. If life was a constant easy ride with no struggle, where would the growth come from? Don’t things become easy or easier after we’ve gone through the difficult challenge. It’s great to have challenges. At what point, can there just be peace and reprieve? Maybe it’s finding peace in the difficult moment where we can find our own individual source of strength. Where is the faith to move forward if the road is always lit ahead of you? 

So, 6 days ago last Monday I first went with Melissa after having dinner together at her favorite go-to place Cubby’s to the crisis center where Melissa checked herself in to get help. Wednesday morning she got transported via an ambulance to the Salt Lake Behavioral Crisis Center where she has been ever since. They allow visitors on Wednesday and Thursday and Saturday. So, I was able to go see Melissa those days. Coincidentally, her dad was there each time as well. So, although this has been hard on Melissa, it has been nice to get to know her dad Lyn a little bit during this journey

My sweet Melissa

Recently, Melissa and I continue to go on our weekly and nightly dinners together. The time that I have with her is precious. I feel for her. She is struggling quite a bit right now with her depression. Yesterday, she asked me to take her to the crisis care clinic up to the Huntsman mental health Institute. We went to dinner first to Cubby’s which is one of her favorite places to go to. She got her regular order of the bender bowl half salad with sweet potato fries and a Diet Coke. Melissa got laid off and her last day of work was the day we went to St. George together back on the 11th. I was really hoping to offer her a job with Artistic Stone, if at least something temporary. But I got shut down from Sunny and Darin, which broke my heart. It’s not that I want to save Melissa, but just give her hope and an opportunity until she gets back on her feet.. Melissa has been sick with depression for over three years but this recent job loss. I feel was a major setback for her as we sat for dinner last night at cubbies, she was really scared. Tears were flowing, and the sense of nervousness was palpable. It was hard to take her to the clinic And have to see her get checked in and admitted for the day. I feel so much love for Melissa that my heart is just aching for her To feel better and to find the happiness and joy. I would love for her to recognize what she has in front of her, which is a man who will stand by her side through thick and thin, walk by her side and try to be the man that she wants and deserves. I see so much strength and Melissa. It’s as if all of her spiritual muscles have been strengthened through all the trials that she’s endured with two divorces, fighting for custody of her kids, having to raise her kids on her own and be in a single mom, and all of the successes that she’s had throughout her life that she has fought for. I do not judge her for having to go into the hospital. I. I support her wholeheartedly. She just needs a little bit of help right now. My hope is as it when she gets out of the hospital. That there can be a situational change that would give her hope and meaning

Dad turns 90

 We met over at the Jamestown to celebrate my dad turning 90. Melissa was not feeling well so she could not make the trip with me. Dad told me that his PSA score had increased quite a bit and that he had a doctors visit in which the doctor told him he had about 6 more months to live.