Valentines

 For Ava and Eli , I got some see’s candies chocolates that I got with Melissa while she was shopping for her parents, $20 each, roses which I end up putting in a potato chip can to use as a vase 😂 And, I had Brad and Calvin over for dinner the day after on Sunday night for a spaghetti dinner with the 5 of us

I had told myself I was gonna get reservations more than a month ago for a nice restaurant, but then I had procrastinated until just 1.5 weeks ago to reserve a spot. We ended up going to Macaroni Grill in South Jordan and stayed at the AC Marriott in downtown. Melissa was so beautiful in her green sundress, her double braid. She jokes she’s losing her and her hair has gotten thinner as a result of the medications. I picked her up at 3:00 and we were going to go bowling. But, we decided to end up resting at the hotel for a little bit before heading over to Macaroni Grill. We opened up things we got for each other. She got me Butterfingers (she’s noticed I love revert to this candy bar), Tupperware cuz she knows I don’t have any, a book Hacks of Life cuz she realizes I read her same book at her house everytime I go over to her parent’s house, lip balm cuz I always ask her to use hers and never have my own, truffles cuz she’s sweet, an awesome smelling candle and a beautiful heartfelt card wrapped up in a cute heart tote bag. She is so thoughtful always looking for meaningful gifts

I wrote my sweetheart a heartfelt letter, a special flower arrangement from Flower Patch, a puzzle of a picture of us from Hawaii and a massager cuz she has been suffering from hamstring pain

I feel so connected with Melissa. When we first got to the hotel before heading out to MG, we snuggled in the bed for a few. I love embracing and snuggling but when I start to twitch cuz I’m falling asleep, she tells me to get on my side with a chuckle. We sat chatting at MG for 3 hours. It’s mainly me listening to her and her life stories. I’m jealous how she can recall so many stories and the details of each situation.

 I had a good chuckle cuz I jokingly told her she was stuck with the skinny pictured guy when she could have had a bodybuilder boyfriend

Skiing first times

 Eli said this is his new favorite sport. This last Sunday we had his first lesson. Mine was 2 weeks ago cuz Eli couldn’t come last week with me. We signed up for lessons with Snowbasin. Eli was a complete natural catching on like he’d been skiing forever. It’s nice to bond over something we can both enjoy. Melissa told me she was jealous cuz skiing allowed her to have some awesome and bonding moments with Asher. And now, she’s hoping to come skiing with Asher along with me and Eli

I have been feeling some strong anxiety the past month with Melissa. I have been insecure due to her strong stance against getting married. On the one hand I understand because of the trauma she experienced with her two ex husbands (infidelity with both and narcissistic husbands the abuse). But, my feeling of marriage is that it shows commitment and a willingness to fully give oneself to the other. So, I’ve been nervous when I’m with her intimately and has caused performance anxiety. We even went to Little America on Friday night and I just could not perform. I’m so attracted to Melissa but I could not get an erection. My body was completely shutting down and rejecting the chance to be with her. Melissa is so amazing that we got together on Saturday afternoon to go to Scheels and get shoes together and then she also got a reservation to The Cliff restaurant in Draper. We had a great and open conversation about all that’s going on with us and continued the conversation even back to my house. She told me one thing during our conversation that resonated. Even though she doesn’t want to get married right now because she associates marriage with trauma, it doesn’t mean she’s not committed. She’s loyal with me, will not cheat on me or date anyone else. Marriage was just a piece of paper. She doesn’t need a piece of paper to indicate her level of commitment. From opening up entirely with each other and expressing our vulnerabilities together we felt super close with each other. Melissa totally initiated the sex on Saturday night. She wore her gray set of pajamas from VS with no bra and half buttoned. She looked so damn sexy with her chest exposed a little bit. To just snuggle with her and feel completely loved by her and to be in her arms is so intoxicating and fulfilling. She satisfies my whole being and desires. To just caress, touch and feel her perfectly shaped and tear dropped breasts fills my whole body with fire and desire for her. How soft her skin feels and admiring her sexuality fills me with passion. As I thrusted her from behind with her letting me just fuck her hard, I enjoy just gazing at perfection as I admire her perfectly shaped ass, touch her huge titties and feel her abs and toned arms and soft long hair. It felt so good to gain some confidence back with the love of my life. It was so intense to feel and see her orgasm as her legs just quivered and shook with excitement. I love seeing her ab line go straight up from her pussy through her breasts. She is so feminine, she is so amazingly beautiful and sexy. I feel like I could fuck her all day long every single day. I’m so attracted to Melissa with all my soul 

Karney Lake

So beautiful just floating on her board

 

We made it to the top of the .6-mile ditch hike where we were able to relax at the picnic table. I love this sun dress on Melissa. The whole way up, I could not keep my hands off her. I don’t view Melissa as an object of lust. Me being hasndsy with her just shows her I am attracted to her, she’s desirable, she’s beautiful and she is wanted. She wasn’t wearing a bra either cuz she wanted to be comfortable 

Day 1. Melissa and I drove for 6 hours to Karney Lake. I picked her up at 10:00 where her mom and dad were. Melissa’s mom was shocked to see how big the truck was and Lyn told me the cabin has been in his family since 1950. He told me about a picture of him when they were building the cabin and he was a toddler looking over the foundation wall. Melissa and I stopped at Albertson’s to get all the groceries for the weekend. We had turkey sandwich with chips and Pinot noir. Afterwards, we sat outside by the lake on the swing bench and sat for a while just chatting. The cabin is set so beautifully right above the lake. There was one moment I wish I could have had my camera. We went out to the lake. I got onto the floating wood raft while she was standing on the edge of the platform pier. The sun was beginning to set just a little so the lighting was perfect. Melissa was dressed in her cute short jean shorts that she had gotten from Plato’s Closet which defined her perfectly shaped ass and legs that are to die for and any woman is jealous of, a ruggedly worn Big Sur t-shirt that just accentuated her amazing physique while wearing no bra and her hair just slightly messy pulled back in a hair band with the shadows of the nearby pine trees reflecting on the water. My heart sunk at just how naturally beautiful she was as she stood there overlooking the lake. Because of her perfection and the pure love I have for this girl who has filled my heart with overwhelming happiness it wasn’t too long before we were making love. When Melissa is not drunk, she can orgasm pretty fast. I love pleasing her. I always want her to orgasm first. It’s not often she orgasms first, but this time she told me it was her time to go first because I told her before that she needs to be the one who orgasms first. She typically likes me to go first after her full body massage which doesn’t always stay “professional”

Day 2. We woke up and had cereal and parfait. We spent the morning sleeping in and then went out to the lake. We strolled around on the paddleboards and I was able to swim a lap. It’s crazy how sick I get from open water swimming. My head was already pounding from only 1 lap. The activity for the day was to to go floating down the Boise River. This was amazing. The trip is a couple hours long along the River. The day was perfect for water with good temps and few to none clouds. Melissa was cute in her 1-piece blue floral swimsuit with shoulder ruffles and showed off her perfect womanly shape. She calls herself a rectangle shape girl. Whatever shape she claims, it’s perfect. We went down the River on her tandem paddleboard which made us seem to go faster than anyone else. We enjoyed people watching , all the Labor Day party crowds that seemed to be mostly from the Boise State university crowd with country songs blaring and people just enjoying the River. So many people out there on a perfect end of summer day. We loved the trip down with a few small rapids and a couple small water cliffs that propelled us a little. Melissa did open up to me while floating how much of a fighter she is and that she is tired of fighting and needs someone to give her a chance and be able to get in the door somewhere so she can have hope. It’s easy to get mad at God cuz if feels as if God is closing doors on her because of this depression. It’s not fair after all the good she’s done in her life of raising her kids and this is how she is rewarded. It is so painful to see her hurting. At the end of the day just before dusk, Melissa shared with me her walk up to the ditch. She tells me the cabin is her sacred place, her temple and the one home that was a constant among all the moving she did from house to house. We walked along the metal ditch that was fed from a stream up top about .6 miles up that ended at a picnic table. It was so beautiful 

Day 3 (Sunday). I got up before Melissa to make her breakfast with French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. She wanted to wake up to the smells of breakfast. She’s so cute. It’s a little thing that she wanted to enjoy. We went for 4.2-mile run together. She wore this purple workout outfit that was purple capri tights with a purple tank top with her black cap and camelbak. Upon starting, we ran by a couple neighbors who were exiting the Karney Lake area, and upon seeing us run by, one of the men said “oh wow, look at these athletes”. Melissa is stunning! One thing about Melissa is she likes thrillers and unsolved mysteries and themes like that. She says it stems from her childhood where her dad’s mom was a widow that worked as a mortician. She even remembers spending one Christmas sleeping in the funeral home. She liked asking her grandma to see dead bodies. She loved going to her grandma’s house which was a 2-bedroom apartment above a mortuary in Boise. We went to the Idaho Penitentiary and toured that. It’s fun to see those stories of the highlighted criminals. Melissa was wearing her skin tight longer jean shorts that went down to her knees and accented her girlish figure with a blue lightly loose girly shirt. She is so pretty. Every time I am with her, I am just overcome with a mesmerization of her beauty. She wears these big sunglasses too which are cute on her. Rather, she makes everything look cute

Moab

 

Life lately 8/9

 I came to Eden yesterday with Melissa. We went snowboarding over at the Causey reservoir. I never heard of that place. Melissa came before with Asher and Tatiana. When we first started out on the water, the wind was pretty strong. But, it soon subdued and was an awesome experience out on the water together. So many other people were out there on their paddleboards. Such a pretty reservoir up secluded. I was able to cliff jump from a spot where I had to climb up to and ended up about 25-30’ high. Melissa stayed on the board while I climbed up and jumped. That was so fun! 

Melissa and I have been having fun going on our weekend getaways. Last weekend we went to Jordanelle and stayed at the BlackRock hotel. This time we got a condo on vrbo for the night. We’re spoiling ourselves for sure. 

While up in Eden and Snowbasin, we went over to Ogden for dinner to The Goat pub and kitchen for dinner. Melissa rarely gets her favorite meal which is a delicious hamburger. Usually I’ll take a bite of her meal to try it out, but I knew she wanted her burger with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mustard and ketchup, no onions though. She enjoyed every bite.

After dinner, we went back to the condo where we had a super fun and passionate time together. Melissa is the hottest and most beautiful, sexy, mesmerizing and captivating woman. I am so engulfed and encompassed in thinking of her and only her. It feels I’m addicted to her while recognizing that’s not a good term to use. But, the reality is that she fulfills every ounce of me and any desire I have. I get so worked up thinking of her. All I want, she is and has. Yes, she is outwardly beautiful. But, she is 1000 times more beautiful on the inside. She got my attention with her radiating exterior beauty and she has captivated my heart with her inner radiance and how she makes me feel. I am so at peace with her and love her with all my heart and soul. I feel at home with Melissa! She is the only girl I want. She satisfies all of me

Park City weekend getaway

 I had the privilege of spending this past weekend in Park city with Melissa. I first picked her up on Friday at about 4 o’clock. When I showed up, I was semi distracted thinking about my dad. I missed a golden opportunity to complement her and how beautiful she was. Typically, I would naturally compliment her every time I see her because she just radiates beauty and I’m in constant awe of how just beautiful she is. She has the wow factor that just takes my breath away. She had bought herself a beautiful navy blue dress that just accentuates her incredible physique. And the way she wears her hair just gets me excited every time I see her. She had her hair done in a side braid that just accentuates her beautiful, shiny and radiating hair. Well, when I first saw her, I was distracted and not paying attention to her like I normally do. Melissa was looking forward to a natural and affectionate compliment of just how beautiful she is and I missed a golden opportunity. I was helping her with her things and not paying attention to what matters most. She is the most beautiful and stunning person. I spent the next minute trying to make up with compliments, but the genuine initial moment where a natural compliment should’ve been given, was already passed. And although the compliments were appreciated, it just wasn’t the same. I love this Creswell girl with all my heart. We went to a nice sushi restaurant on Friday night. Saturday, we got up and had breakfast and headed over to the zip line. After the zip line, we went over to the Jamestown to spend a couple hours with Dad and Mom. It was good for Melissa to be able to talk with my mom for a little bit. That was the first time they’ve been able to spend some time talking with each other. Later, we went to a nice Italian Restaurant called Ghidotti’s. I love going to dinner with Melissa because she opens up so much to me and tells me her life stories and what she wants to do with her life. I love being a part of her life and I hope I get to be her lifetime partner. She is a huge blessing in my life and I hope to be for her.