Life lately

Life has been super busy, stressful and hectic lately.  I have had a deadline on a current project that has forced me to work extremely long hours.  I have had assigments with church this past month that has required a lot of time.  And, to top it all off, this past week I had surgery for something I've been putting off for quite a while until I had had confirmation that all would be okay.  I love my family and am so thankful of their support they have given me.  I know Heavenly Father answers our prayers and confirms to us in our hearts and through our thoughts if we study it out first and then ask Him sincerely if what we desire to do is something He wants for us. 

I was reading in Matthew yesterday morning and came across a verse in chapter 19 where it states that with God all things are possible.  With Him, I can do so much more.  My limitations are only limits as I allow them to be.  I can do so much more with Him at my side.  As I allow Him into my heart and my mind, my personal capacities grow.   He is such a loving Father that He doesn't want me to be alone.  That is why He sends me the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  He lets me know that He is there for me, that I am stronger, and that "we" are stronger together than on our own.  He wants me to keep His commandments because in them that is where I find true happiness and this freedom alleviates anything that would hold me captive.  I heard our Young Women President compare the keeping of commandments to a funnel that I thought was great.  We, at first, may look at commandments from a worldly perspective or from the wide end of the funnel.  We have all these freedoms and choices we can make and think of commandments as limitations, thus our view is narrowed.  We think we can make 1 bad choice and pretty soon, after we've made a few more bad choices, our options become limited.  Our agency, or freedom, is narrowed  just like the skinny end of the funnel.  However, with a God-like perspective as we look through the narrow end of the funnel, we see how everything widens and opens up.  We see the freedoms and options that commandments actually give us.  Our views and perspectives change and we become enlightened as we do what is right.

Today, I spent roughly 15 hours engaged in the work of the Lord.  I left the house at 5:30 in the morning and didn't get done until 8:30 at night.  This just feels typical of a lot of my Sunday's.  I love it, but I do get so tired physically and miss being with my family.  It really is amazing how much the spirit does sustain me through.  I was so busy today but I felt so close to my Heavenly Father.  It just felt so good to be so busy in His work.  Lately, I have been thinking, and I am ashamed to say, that maybe I should be released from this calling because it feels like I just can't do it all.  I have had so much on my plate at work and then trying to spend any time with my family and the number of hours with church responsibilities that something had to give and that church things seemed to be the obvious factor to let go.  I love the gospel but it is definitely overwhelming at times.  Today was different.  I was so worried going in, but it was truly amazing to feel so close to my Father today that I knew He was letting me know that I am doing alright and that what I am doing is acceptable to Him. 

Sometimes, I was just feeling like I was failing because as much as I prosper in one aspect of my life, like doing better at work, all of a sudden, I am failing at my responsibilities of being a dad.  I was feeling like I was failing Brad, for example.  Brad's 11th birthday was back in February.  Since then, I have done pretty much nothing to help him with Scouts.  I hadn't even bought him a shirt.  Nichole did that for him.  Well, Friday morning, I was over at the scout office and bought Jake a shirt and all the other things that go along with it such as the patches and neckerchief.  When I got home and it was seen all that I had gotten for Jake, I was reprimanded for not helping Brad or getting everything for him who had been in the program a lot longer.  Righteous indignation can be a good thing sometimes because it reminds us where we can improve.  I was feeling so guilty for my lack of support for Brad that I tried to go through the whole Tenderfoot Rank in one evening with him in the matter of about an hour.  Sorry Brad!  I went on the campout with Brad a couple weeks ago up to Payson Lakes, but I need to be doing the little things in the home to help him, and my other children for that matter, to progress. 

I was reminded of this type of "progression" in children yesterday at the baptisms.  I was able to conduct the baptism for my good friend, the Bishop, Matt Killpack and his daughter Katie along with the Schultz family and their daughter, Sydney.  The 2 little girls, Katie and Sydney, looked so pretty in their white baptism dresses.  But, more important than that, I could see the light that shown from their faces.  Yes, they were pretty physically.  But, they were beautiful spiritually.  The teaching of the gospel to them at the home had definitely rubbed off on them and they had learned the truthfulness of the gospel from their parents and within the sacred walls of their home.  These two little children were excited to follow the example of their Elder Brother.  I can be like Matt and Josh and be a better father and teacher in the home.